Shyness

So, people have been pressuring me to pick a costume for Halloween. Although, I’m not even sure what the plan is for partying. Still, I’m sure there will be cause for wearing the costume, even though I have rehearsal that night. I am actually really nervous about a Halloween party. Lots of drinking and costumes and people scare me a lot. So I’ve been telling people that I don’t know if I want to wear a costume and that I’m really shy and nervous about it. Their response: they laugh. They can’t believe that I could be shy. They all think of me as so outgoing and public-speaking (and attention-seeking?). In my “I am” poem I wrote:

“

I am shy and sometimes antisocial, but some people don’t know that.

I tried to explain to them that I can be really comfortable in some situations and that fools people into thinking I’m really confident and outgoing. I feel really scared at “parties” though, despite Sarah’s party last week which wasn’t so scary. I guess I realized that I’ve grown a lot over the past few years. I remember how socially awkward and shy I was the first few years in high school. I get it from my mom. I think between being involved in drama, making my first real friends, moving out of my sister’s house, and doing better in school, I became a little more confident. Then going to Vanderbilt, getting involved in my majors and enjoying classes, teaching, traveling, making more real friends, and (of course) *Summerbridge* taught me a lot more about being social, taking leadership, and confidence. I honestly should thank Stephanie too because she did a real number on me when I felt really small this past year, trying to get me to stand up tall, take charge, and get on with it. I am a lot more confident than I used to be. I sometimes like being the center of attention (I get that from my dad). I do feel a little shy sometimes, but maybe it isn’t as appropriate of a description as it used to be.

So, I decided what I’m going to be for Halloween. I’m going shopping tomorrow. But you can’t find out until Halloween like everyone else! ;)