A Paperweight on the Desk of Life

Okay, so if you spent much time with me over the past several weeks, you'll know that one of the biggest banes of my existence has been this stupid desk I bought months ago and was incapable of putting together. No, it has nothing to do with lack of skill, or lack of manliness for that matter. It has everything to do with crazy foreigners who write in all pictures of a million pieces somehow coming together into a cheap desk in just 15 incredibly complicated steps. So, yesterday I came home from school and guess what...I had a desk! It was like a miracle, a sign from god [speaking of which...on a completely tangental note: I taught my third graders to say OMG today, it was pretty darn funny]. It turns out my brother-in-law, Cliff, after hearing me complain enough, took it upon himself to build it. He works in construction and has built much more complicated things than my desk, so it was a piece of cake for him. For me? Forget about it! So, he did it and I am forever in his debt. And now I'm sitting at my desk, in my rolly desk chair, soaking in the awesomeness of having furniture. Now I just have to get Vinny to move all his junk out of the room and buy some bookshelves and other stuff and move more stuff over and put some stuff on the walls and cover up this horrific wallpaper that luckily only lives on one of my walls and my room might actually become livable. Oh, I need a new bed too. Well, we've at least taken a step in the right direction. Oh! And the title of this entry relates to my belief about 7 years ago that if I were any object on the desk of life, I would be a paperweight. I don't feel that way anymore. :0)

Today was an exciting day at school because my teacher was gone so I taught the whole day. It went so well. I love my class! They really are the best. For some reason, I think my favorite part of the day was teaching cursive. We learned to write "e" and "l" and added it to the c, a, d, and g that we already knew. I think I like it because I was so horrible about it in school and now my handwriting is like six times better and looks even better when compared to theirs. Actually, their cursive is really good. I'm pretty impressed. But I never thought I'd be doing cursive lessons. I just wish I could bring all of you to meet my class, you'd fall in love with them.

Poetry for Mom

My mom passed away Saturday at 12:15 AM. I'll write more later, but I thought I'd throw that out there and include this poem that I wrote just hours before it happened. Thank you for all the love and support you have shown me during this difficult year. I can't imagine what this would be like without all the support I've received. I'm so lucky and blessed.

“For Mom”

Tonight I feel like a motherless child,

Suddenly alone

Abandoned involuntarily,
But abandoned nonetheless
To cry 2005 tears,
Find my own way,
Breathe for myself.

It is scary,
Hard,
All the words that accompany loss,
Losing someone,
A void in your heart.

2005 tears
Can’t fill the void too deep too…
Because you were supposed to fill it
With your support,
Love,
Warmth.
Motherly compassion I miss,
Taken too soon, too young.
Who’s advice shall I seek?Who’s house shall I find on Christmas,
Easter,
Thanksgiving.

You prepared me for independence,
But not for being
motherless