Patience is a virtue

Patience, my friends and family, is a virtue. After all, good things come to those who wait. Well, I have been waiting to write this note for a long time, and I think the people that claim this are people who have already discovered the good things, not the people still waiting. I thought I would wait until I had really settled in to my new and better life. I’m a patient person after all, or so I’ve been told. And I can be very patient. Especially at work I can be very patient, almost too patient with those little hooligans. Champion of pulling an elephant through the mud.

Patience wares thin though. Just ask Emily or my family. I lose patience quickly with life sometimes. I have this mythical life mapped out in my head. I have a job I love in a beautiful city that I find comfortable. I have a love and a family and a dog, not to mention the nice home with the perfect yard for entertaining and a soft, comfy sofa. I’m surrounded with friends and family, life feels full.

Moving to San Diego would help push me in that direction, was my thought. Bring me one step closer to making that dream a reality. And I approach it with patience. After all, I don’t expect to be married next year or to buy a house (although the market makes such a dream a little more reasonable). These things take time. I’ve only been here for two months and I’ve really made some good progress. In the grand scheme of things, I have accomplished so much in just 24+ years of life. I’ve traveled the world, I have a bucket full of coursework, degrees, and honors, I’ve taught every grade from K through grad school, I’ve met amazing people, and I’ve loved.

So, am I happy with the choice of moving to San Diego? In the pit of waiting, patience gives way to despair sometimes. But, when the sun shines through the darkness, with patience I remind myself that things are going pretty well. I have no complaints about the city. San Diego is beautiful and diverse. There is a lot to explore, a lot to do, great restaurants, all the stores that I need, and some cool coffee shops too. I’ve found a job in exactly the kind of school I’ve wanted to work at, surrounded by an amazing staff all dedicated to serving a needy and diverse population.

I’m just lonely. I’ve been lonely a lot in my life. Spent many weekends alone. Seen many movies alone. Eaten many meals alone. I feel very comfortable alone, but not very happy. So, I need to pick my spirits up and pour some energy into making friends. I’m not very good at this. I don’t know how to do it without the kind of given cohort of a school environment. But just having more friends will help a lot with this patience.

So, maybe I need to join some sort of group or class. I’ve been pretty worn out and overwhelmed by my work, but that is getting better now and I think I’ll have more time. I’m going to be on vacation in April (the school is year round so we get April and August off), so I’ll be doing some traveling then. I was hoping to move out on my own in April, but I don’t know if I’ll have the money (I’m currently earning a low sub hourly range of $16 an hour, despite full time/overtime teaching work). We’ll see what another month brings. All I know is that I need more patience. =)