My Personality Color: White

A few months ago, my counselor gave me a packet and quiz to use to determine my personality type when it comes to relationships with others (not just romantic). It was a way to talk about differences in personality between Emily and I and how to navigate them. Here is a break-down of my results:

• Profile Color: White
• Motive: Peace
• Needs: To feel good (inside), to be understood, acceptance
• Wants: To reveal insecurities, to please others, protection, contentment
• Strengths: Tolerant, inventive, kind, easygoing, patient, independent, diplomatic, listener
• Limitations: Unproductive, silently stubborn, unsure/indecisive, reluctant, boring, uninvolved, avoids risking
• What to do with Whites: be loving and sensitive; be firm; provide a structure (boundaries) for them to operate in; be patient and gentle; introduce options and ideas for their involvement; be simple and open; accept their individuality; be casual, informal and relaxed; look for non-verbal clues to their feelings; listen quietly
• What not to do with Whites: be unkind; expect them to always need others to play with; force verbal expression; be domineering; be too intense; overwhelm them with too much; force confrontation; speak too fast; demand leadership
• Binding behaviors: personality limitations that bind with the character development of others
  

1. May be too easily overwhelmed by life (which causes others to pity whites).
2. Often are too weak to take a stand (which causes others to feel a need to always protect them).
3. Appear to be too helpless or inadequate (which causes others to want to rescue them).

So, that was a slightly edited version of the profile for my dominate personality. It seems like many of these things could apply to anyone, but I assure you there are three other personality colors explained, and they are all different. I found myself really identifying with at least 85% of what was said about me and about Emily and, at the time, it helped both of us think about how we are different, why we do the things we do, and how to develop our character and support each other. I think it would be worth taking if you can find something similar (unfortunately there are no references in the text).

Anyhow, I wanted to expand on something I said in the Messiah post about one of my limitations being that I can be too dependent. A very thoughtful woman told me that there is a difference between being dependent (in the "I'm basing my self-worth and everything in my life on you and I can't carry on alone") and relying on others for help. Depending on others isn't something wrong. In fact, it can be really hard to have the trust in another person to be there for you when you need them, knowing the pain that it would cause if they weren't there for you. A vulnerability, I suppose. And I can see that being true. I mean, there is so much to give and receive from others. So why not open the doors to that exchange. I hope I am able to give as much as I receive.

I wonder if combined with my personality trait to "appear helpless" and "become easily overwhelmed" creates an imbalance of sort. If so, I hope you all realize that I am strong (maybe pathetic, but strong) and internally I am very confident in the outlook for the future. I don't need to be taken care of. Perhaps just heard, and support, and not so alone. Sorry for any pity parties I may have called. Still, I stand by my actions and trust in your love, and hope I can return the support to you. Thank you for everything.