Reassurance

Okay, so I have my doubts sometimes when I think about going to Hawaii for grad school. I keep thinking, "Why did I turn down Stanford?" I remember what it was like going to public school (i.e. CSU Sacramento) and how beaurocratic and huge and impersonal it was and how unhappy it made me. I think about my experience in private school and how great I thought it was that there were so many opportunities, everything was more accessible and personal, and the campus was so beautiful. I hear from Leo about how less-than-impressed he was with his UH experience. And I really wonder. BUT then I read something about how the department of second language studies (i.e. the field I'm entering) is ranked first in the nation. And I was talking to Eve, the other Dean of Faculty for the other site, who studied Applied Linguistics (i.e. the field I'm entering) and recommended the program at UH before I even mentioned the fact that I was going there. She's been teaching English for the past few years in mainland China at a university and she's moving to Mexico City for a job where she's coordinating some ESL programs. After seeing me work she's trying to confince me to come work with her. Mexico? Anyways, she's got a lot of good contacts in the field and it will be handy knowing her. Plus she's a pretty great person.

As much as I like Hong Kong and the people at Summerbridge, there are times I just want this summer to be over with. I will be able to let go of so much baggage and finally feel grounded and relaxed once I get to Hawaii (and actually move into some for of housing). I really want to move on to that stage in my life and leave the past year behind me and I feel like I'm still in a transitory phase (adjustment disorder) and it makes me feel a little anxious- not exactly homesick, but something similar. I miss being able to talk to people on the phone. But I don't really feel the need to get back to Sacramento. I want to get to Hawaii. Only five more weeks here. I can't believe I've been living in Hong Kong for a month now. I am so thankful that I met some of the people I've met here because I couldn't have met them anywhere else. Crazy.

p.s. In reference to my trip to temple in Chinatown in May, it has been difficult waiting for the plum tree to blossom. It has brought upon me more stress and discomfort than I would like. Still, I hold out that the blossom will come, hopefully sooner than later. Exactly five weeks from now is all I have left here.