Nice Guys Finish _______

So, tonight we had a dinner for everyone in the Arts department (which I am officially part of, and department head since I was asked to replace a teacher last week). It was fun, but the real story starts afterwards (well, after the mandatory stop at McDonald's for ice cream---okay, side story: they just started a new promotion where after 9pm you can get a double sundae which basically means two sundaes in one cup, but you can mix-and-match your syrups: hot fudge, mango-passion fruit, or strawberry. So that was all the rave tonight).

As I was walking back home with a couple of the teachers, somehow they got to talking about hitting on girls (mind you, there were three guys and one girl). So, of course, I shared two of my favorite lines, "Do you have a compass? Because I'm lost in your eyes." And, "If I had a library card, I might check you out." After thinking more seriously about it though, I confessed that I really don't know because I have never actively hit on someone that I didn't know and would probably start just by being nice to them.

That triggered the girl (from California) to respond, "Nice? Mat, don't you know that nice guys finish last?" To which my response was, "That's not true." I was thinking about myself being one of those typical "nice guys" and thinking about what a good relationship I'm in right now and feeling confident about the future. I couldn't help but think that I'm in a lot better state than many of the guys my age.

So she said, "Yes it is. Girls don't like the nice guys."

"I don't know. Maybe those are the girls I wouldn't want to be with anyways." Of course, here I openly identify myself as a "nice guy" to the group; and I also set her up to respond with, "Well, I don't like the nice guys."

Okay, so did I just insult her? I'm not sure. But I could have gone further and said things like "That's what you say now," or "Have you ever dated any nice guys?" or, worse, "Are you dating anyone now? Do you think that might be related??"

Needless to say, I didn't say anything else. It did get me thinking about it though. Because about 3-4 years ago, I would have agreed with her. But since then, not only do I have further proof that girls do like me, "the nice guy," but I think I have a lot more confidence in myself. I know I'm a catch. I know I have a lot to offer a woman. Not perfect by any means. But good.

And so I'm thinking it's those nice guys who lack self-confidence that really finish last. I have been there. But with confidence, you can totally overcome all those other obstacles.

And I have always hated those "bad boys" or "crazy, party guys." Always. That's a big reason why I don't have a lot of guy friends. And if I have such a dislike for that kind of person, how could I ever be that kind of person. No matter how tempting that is, or how tempting the girls looking for that are. And I have been tempted many a time. But I could never really do it. It just isn't me.

And I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm happy with that.