I guess I've been having a harder time with all that has happened than I thought. I've been so busy and preoccupied with things the past few months that I am just now beginning to realize that I really have been sad for a while. I might not have ever realized it if those around me hadn't told me about the way I looked and the way I was acting. Today I had a dream about answering my cell phone and it was my mom on the other side, talking to me, and I couldn't tell whether it was a recording or not. And I broke down in tears in my dream and screamed in the middle of the airport until my sister found me. And yesterday I was thinking about how I'm stuck in between my college life and adulthood (seeing as I don't have a job at the moment) and how I really don't want to be an adult right now. I just want to be a baby and be held and cared for. My mom used to tell me all the time about how no matter how old I got, I'd always be her baby. Now, I'm nobody's baby. That made me very sad.
The rest of this month is going to turn out just the way I make it turn out. If I make myself have fun and be productive, it'll be a fun and productive month. That's a lot of responsibility. Stephanie just left for school and I don't have many friends around now. But my friend from Vandy, Lissie, will be coming to visit next week! That'll be exciting. She's from San Diego and is teaching in SoCal right now. Plus, I just found out that I'm officially graduated and my degree's been processed and everything. Graduated magna cum laude with a B.S. (hahaha) in Elementary Education, Spanish, and Theatre. I'm pretty proud of myself, needless to say. My brother said, "An Espinosa with a degree. Wow. I mean, there are probably other Espinosa's with degrees, but none of them answer my calls." So there.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment