Well, the play is over... YAY!! I've got more time now, unfortunately I should be using it to catch up on work. Screw work of all sorts, I say. Then I quickly slap myself, rub my wound, and get back to business. I pulled my first all nighter last week and then proceeded to do a performance that night. All the performances went well. A lot of people came and all the cast and crew were so cool and tons of people gave me complements. So, it was a great experience. It just didn't jive with all these classes that are kicking my butt. I think I may have finally met my match. But "Never give up, never surrender" as they say in Galaxy Quest, and I shan't. On Friday I start my fall break (I'm glad we have it, but it does seem a little ridiculous) and I'll be heading up to visit my sister till Tuesday. So that will be great, I'm just not looking forward to sitting next to Billy Bob on a 6+ hour bus ride. Anyways, I wanted to share with everyone two things. One: NEW NEPHEW------ Brian Tyler Espi was born on October 6th (9lbs 11oz). Is 9 11 symbolic? Also, I wanted to share the lyrics to a wonderful little ditty that our production added to Shakespeare's As You Like It. Feel free to call me if you'd like me to tell you how it is sung.
Penis Envy
Performed by Uncle Bonsai
Transcribed from their album "A lonely grain of corn"
Italics were used in the play
If I had a penis I'd wear it outside,
In cafes and car lots, with pomp and with pride.
If I had a penis I'd pamper it proper
I'd stay in the tub and use me as the stopper.
If I had a penis I'd take it to parties
Stretch it and stroke it and shove it at smarties.
I'd take it to pet shows and teach it to stay.
I'd stuff it in turkeys on Thanksgiving Day.
I'd rival my buddies in sportscars and stick shifts.
I'd shower my spire with girlies and gifts.
I'd peek around corners; I'd aim at my toilet;
I'd poke it at foreigners and soap it and oil it.
If I had a penis I'd run to my mother;
Comb out the hair and compare it to brother.
I'd lance her, I'd knight her, my hands would indulge...
Pants would seem tighter and buckle and bulge.
Chorus:
A penis to plunder, a penis to push
Cause one in the hand is worth one in the bush.
A penis to love me, a penis to share,
To pick up and play with when nobody's there.
I'd sit like a guy, I'd straddle the chair.
I'd play with my fly, albeit with care.
I'd dip it in chocolate, I'd stick it in sockets,
I'd stroll to the movies with hands deep in pockets.
I'd stick it in vacuums on vacant verandas
Gas-guzzling Volvos, and poodles and pandas
And puddles and drainpipes and doggies and ditches??
and bottles and ??? and bitches
Zucchinis and zebras, potatoes, tom-ah-toes
And pineapples, pumpkins, and gulches and grottoes
And melons and marshmallows, gloves and gorrillas
Slurpees and slippers, Chinooks and chinchillas...
Chorus
If I had a penis, I'd climb every mountain,
I'd force it on females, I'd pee like a fountain.
If I had a penis, I'd still be a girl,
But I'd make much more money and conquer the world!
No comments:
Post a Comment