I'm tired of the feeling of loss. It sucks. After a few really good weeks, for some reason it has come back to voraciously attack me this week. I think my birthday has something to do with it. I wonder if having a particularly stressful week also adds to it. And I also think I've been thinking about the impending loss of the play and all the people that go along with it. Lots of bad dreams this week though and combined with stress and not having many available hours for sleep, it's been a rough one. Luckily I have so many reasons to smile each day and spend everyday with people I like and doing things I like. I don't know what it would be like without all those wonderful things.
The play opens TONIGHT!! As of yet, I'm not at all nervous. Luckily I know at least one person there tonight to cheer me on. I can't wait. It will be wonderful. Despite all the drama of the past few nights. (What? I haven't told you about all the drama? Well, maybe I'll write about that later)
Wish me luck.
Still smiling...
P.S. All the acceptances have come in (even Stanford!), but I think the decision is set to be in Hawaii in August. It will be so nice to start over in someplace new and exciting. Wish me luck on that too. ;-)
My attempt to keep everyone up to date on all the random occurrences of daily matness. CAUTION: what is interesting to Espi, may put you to sleep
2 comments:
This is going to be the longest response ever, since it contains a poem. I was motivated to look this poem up a few days ago because I was trying to quote it to someone, and now you made me think about it again. Remember this? :
Elizabeth Bishop
One Art
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
Anyway, I know it's not exactly the most cheerful of poems, but as far as loss goes it certainly could have been more depressing, so we'll take this as a mildly cheerful middle ground;)
Hey. You're going to rock it, yknow? Whatever "it" may end up being;)
oh, and good luck:)
(me again)
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