For your reading pleasure, an original poem. Feel free to comment on it. :)
Defining
Capturing all aspects
A w k w a r d
The k uncomfortably trapped
Between two ominous and unusual w’s,
The ending sound,
Harsh and sharp,
Like a sudden gulp
Or last gasp of breath
Or the sound of a drop of perspiration
Crashing onto the tiled floor.
Awed into the unknown,
Warded against trust and security,
The state of being unsure,
Tip toeing into the difficult to handle,
Not graceful tip toeing,
Awkward tip toeing.
The word clumsily tumbles from the tongue,
But captures all aspects,
Awkwardly.
My attempt to keep everyone up to date on all the random occurrences of daily matness. CAUTION: what is interesting to Espi, may put you to sleep
3 comments:
i wrote a poem similar to that once about the letter y. it was about how when you recite the vowels you say "and sometimes y." it was quite humorous:)
okay, so I read it again with your "slipping into it awkwardly" idea in mind, and I think it works well that way, but I think I still have problems with it starting with "defining." I'm not sure why--though maybe it has to do with the way it ends too. It feels like it's trying to start and end the same way, with the "capturing all aspects/ a w k w a r d" at the beginning and the "captures all aspects/ awkwardly" at the end, but the "defining" makes the beginning too long for the kind of beginning/end parallel I expect. Or something. If that made sense:) It just seems random, unless it's a title, but I really can't tell:)
So yeah. Maybe I'm just anti-awkward beginning that throws off the otherwise lovely symmetry:) I know, symmetry isn't awkward and is therefore somewhat out of place in a poem about awkwardness--but then, if it's out of place, isn't even the symmetry awkward? heh.
That's enough:) Thanks for your poetry, though--a separate creative window into the espi soul;)
-stasia:)
Espi!! Missing you and updates on your life via your blog. Hope everything is swell, and not too sweltering in Sacramento. When is summerbridge over?
xoxo,Shahla
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