Fear and Loathing in Sacramento

So, there are a few things that freak me out. My issue with spiders has been well-documented to the point that it is being taught in schools as required curriculum. My issues with answering machines/voice mails have also been well-documented by the fact that I am rarely documented at all on an answering machine. However, yesterday I encountered three other fears that you might not be aware of. The first two involve driving. I hate seeing all the shreds of tires along the highway. It scares me so bad that I can feel my pulse rising. Suddenly, I start thinking about what the tires looked like when I got in the car. After I can't remember, I become even more distressed and vow to check the pressure. Then a series of simulations go through my head as I try to prepare myself for the inevitable blowout and what I would do and where the ideal place to pull over would be. They are just so ominous, lying their from owners past, but without the car and the owner to which they belong. "What happened to them?" I wonder. "How did they deal with the tragic situation?"

The second freaky thing is something not all together common, but it happened twice yesterday. On the freeway, I somehow ended up behind a lumber truck. All I could think about was whether one of those logs sliding back into my car would compact it enough to fit into the recycle bin. Then, at a stoplight, I find myself behind a regular truck that has a huge piece of wood (1x8 I think) that spans from the dash, out the rear window, over the truck bed, and is in a staring contest with my front windshield. We were stopped at the light and I kept imagining the light turning green, the truck moving forward, and the board having an equal and opposite reaction toward me. It didn't help that the only thing keeping that dream from become a reality was the passenger holding onto the board with one hand. Luckily, nothing became of it, but still.

The last thing is something that has scared me since I was a kid, but I can't track it back to any particular incident. It bothers me when I go into a bathroom and the shower curtain is drawn. It usually causes me to stop, listen for signs of breathing, and carefully peek around and pull back the curtains before I can do anything else productive. Faced with all these in one day, you might call that a stressful 24 hours. Now don't go around thinking that I'm a scaredy-cat (I don't even like cats) or a sissy. I don't want to add more evidence for the people who swear I'm gay to use against me. There are way more things I'm not afraid than I am afraid of, at least a 20:1 ratio. :)

Also, KWOD 106.5, the station I've counted on for my rock alternative buzz since 2000, has dramatically changed (in case you were unaware). It's now playing a greater variety of things, more stuff from the eighties (The Police, for example) and a bunch of soft stuff too (like Dave Matthews). I'm not all together happy about it. I put in a complaint to the station about how I miss the morning show with Boomer and the Dave and how they were the only think worth listening to in the morning. And now that Summerbridge is about to start, I'll be spending significant time in the morning looking for something good to listen to on the radio. KWOD v.2 might grow on me, but for now I say, "Ewww v. 2!!"

On a more serious note, my mom finished her radiation this week. We were a little disappointed that the tumor in her leg didn't seem to shrink that much, but she says it doesn't pull as hard. She still gets out of breath easily and her legs give her problems after she stands or walks for very long. She doesn't sleep through the night because of the pain, so I know that's hard. But, she has a meeting today with the surgeon to see if and when and how they can remove the tumor and scar tissue from the leg. We're still hopeful that after the surgery, she will be able to move around a lot better. But who knows, eh?

Anyhow, thanks for the encouragement and have a good hump day.